Just Another Weekend in Vladimir

April 1, 2010 at 12:37 pm (Uncategorized)

We went to another club for Erin’s birthday.  This one was much more crowded than the previous one we had gone to for Emily’s birthday.  It turned out to be quite interesting.  There was one guy wearing aviators the whole time, accompanied by jeans and a sweater.  I named him Maverick.  The whole night I kept thinking of hilarious Top Gun jokes.  For example, when Jeff asked, “Where did Maverick go?”  I replied, “He’s on the highway to the danger zone, man!”  He came back in no time, and fervently began dancing AT people.  He failed to land anywhere.  Another guy, who looked like a heavyweight wrestler, stood by the bar alone all night, and repeatedly punched the air.  He was obviously trying to raise the roof.  It looked like he had seen too many episodes of Jersey Shore.  Meanwhile, the DJ was playing strange English techno.  My favorite song was one that repeated the lyrics, “Don’t be shy, it’s Halloween” over and over again.

Yesterday, Tania (my host mother’s granddaughter) had a dance recital.  We were extremely late, so Olya drove like a bat out of hell, two blocks down the road.  We arrived five minutes before the show started, and Tania was supposed to have been there an hour before the show.  Olya parked, threw the keys at Iya, and took off running toward the dressing rooms after Tania.  Meanwhile, I saw the first attractive man that I’ve seen in Russia.  Sadly, this was the man Iya threw the car keys at, while yelling, “YOUNG MAN CLOSE MY CAR.”  While the poor soul showed Iya how to lock the car, I walked off, pretending that I didn’t know Iya.  Meanwhile Volodya (wearing jeans and a jeans jacket) was wondering off giggling to himself about God only knows what.

Once inside the theater, Volodya and I were assigned the task of finding seats.  We saw some in the middle of one of the rows, so we squeezed our way past people to get there.  The lady promptly informed us that the seats were reserved.  Volodya demanded to know why, and she replied that she was saving them for her son and husband.  Volodya vehemently said, “I don’t care!” And sat down.  While she started yelling at him, I started easing my way back out of the row.  Volodya finally followed me, and marched straight up to one of the ushers, saying, “This is your job isn’t it?  Good, I can’t find seats.”  The lady pointed out the two seats we had just tried.  “I already tried there!” bellowed Volodya.  Finally, the usher opened the balcony for us.  Volodya shoved me through the door, hurting a small child in the process.  We finally found seats just as the performance was starting.

The performance was very interesting, and Tania danced very well.  However, Iya kicked me out at intermission, despite my protests that I wanted to stay.  She promptly told me that I couldn’t stay, and dragged me out of the auditorium.  She led me outside, and said, “There’s your bus, go!” before heading back into the theater.  I still don’t understand.

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